Ever since I can remember I struggled massively with overthinking...
I had a very overactive, fearful, and slightly irrational mind.
throughout basically all of high school and college I would spend almost all of my attention worrying about catastrophic scenario thoughts that would come into my head, and I couldn't seem to ever find a way to get rid of them.
I would always wonder about how much easier life would be if I could free myself from anxiety altogether,
If I didn't have to struggle with constant what-if thoughts, ruminating in my head about past experiences, worrying about the future in a catastrophic way, questioning the past, etc...
I felt like I was wasting my days away in my head when I could and should be enjoying life...
If this describes you in some way, take a deep breath and relax... because this is not just some other "surface-level" advice here...
I'm not here to tell you to "stop overthinking it" or "just think about something else" or "you have nothing to worry about" or that your fears are unlikely to happen and are silly"...
And I'm not here to tell you you have to do some crazy meditation practice for 6 months or start getting in an arm wrestle with your thoughts to try to figure things out.
In fact, what really made a difference for me was much easier, and the exact opposite of all these things.
So in the next few paragraphs, Im going to show you the 2 mind-blowing things I learned that ACTUALLY allowed me to gain control over my obsessive intrusive thoughts and anxiety.
But first,
If you have struggled to try to get rid of thoughts from your mind,
Or prove your thoughts & fears are irrational, unlikely to happen, or someone close to you told you that you have nothing to be worried about, but they STILL keep nagging at you, it likely has nothing to do with you.
This isn't something you should feel hard on yourself for, it's just how we're wired as humans.
And you can't blame yourself for not being able to "sort out your thoughts" or "just being happy".
Because It's not your fault.
So, let me share exactly what I learned, and the specific steps I took that allowed me to overcome this, so you can implement these things in your life, and start traveling lighter, be more at ease, have peace of mind, and enjoy life more TODAY.
After about a decade of struggle, fear, and overthinking, non-helpful advice, resources & a few unhelpful books... I finally stumbled upon a powerful book called "The Worry Trick" by Dr. David Carbonell.
He's a PHD mental health professional and explained he worked with hundreds of patients over his time who had struggled with exactly these same issues I was just describing. He calls it "chronic worrying"
And as soon as I read that I snapped my fingers and said "YUP" "THATS ME"
After dissecting each page eagerly to find a solution to my lifetime mess,
I strangely discovered that the process of becoming free from anxiety was actually the direct opposite of what most people think...
I learned that our instincts as humans in reacting to these intrusive, worry-some thoughts are DEAD WRONG.
This was mind-blowing to me because it meant...
That tendency to want to avoid, get rid of, and want nothing to do with our troublesome thoughts and fears is actually what makes them persist!! (it's not our fault for not realizing this, it was our instincts to react how we were reacting)
And once I made this shift in my approach, I was more at ease, less tired, and more "in control" of my anxiety and overthinking than I ever thought I could be.
All because of a powerful concept called "The Rule Of Opposites"...
It basically means that our gut instincts of how to respond to unwanted, chronic worry is pretty much dead wrong. We are usually better off doing the opposite of my gut instinct.
This is because by trying to repel thoughts and get rid of them, were treating them like they're dangerous. And our brain is wired to protect us from danger, so it keeps the thoughts persistent, and makes them stronger and more powerful.
But when we realize that for overthinking, fearsome thoughts are not dangerous, we need to react as such in order for them to go away, which is the direct opposite of what our instincts tell us to do.
This blew my mind because it means all my efforts to "decrease anxiety", "get rid of thoughts", were actually what was causing them to stay persistent.
And causing me all this struggle, pain, rumination, and sucking all the enjoyment out of life. (again, not our fault).
So what we need to do is just directly flip our approach, instead of trying to get rid of our overthinking or "stop it", we need to do the direct opposite.
It's very simple. But it takes a little courage at first. Just know that your thoughts are not dangerous in themselves. Theyre just thoughts.
We need to work WITH the thoughts rather than against them.
I know this sounds completely counterintuitive, but what I've learned is that worrying is a counterintuitive problem.
Now, you can exercise this in 2 ways.
1. Humor the thoughts
There are countless ways to do this. Humor is the #1 antititode to anxiety and fear.
-Agree and Exaggerate.
-Thank the thoughts for their "brilliant" warnings.
This lessens the sting they have on you and helps see the true nature of the thoughts, as what they are, just thoughts. It tells your mind that they aren't a source of danger, and will allow them to diminish
The more you do this, the more you'll build armor around your mind and thoughts.
2. Desensitize your brain from them
The second way to develop a truly "anxious-free" brain is to practice what's called ERP.
ERP or "Exposure Response Prevention" is where "quote"
So what I've found is you can actually practice this and feel better almost immediately.
There are 2 ways you can do this:
1. Write down the thoughts on paper and read them out loud 10-20 times.
You can write out your fears as if the worst case scenario were to happen, this triggers the emotional response you have to them which will diminish the sting and persistence of the thoughts.
2. Imagine them happening vividly.
This sounds totally crazy that this would work, and you would think this is the OPPOSITE of what would work.
But remember the rule of opposites from before.
What this will do is desensitize your brain from the thoughts and fears that pain you.
And over time with just a little practice each day I have almost completely desensitized my brain from the thoughts using these 2 approaches.
The more I spent time with the thoughts and fears I had, and allowed myself to feel the sting attached to them, the less they persisted, the less sting I actually felt as a result.
Now, there are still times when I struggle, but these are the main powerful tools that have helped me get a grip on my overactive mind and start training it for peace and strength.
Disclaimer: This advice is not to be substituted with professional help. Mental illness is serious and you should never be afraid to seek help if you need it, it can change your life for the better. I've sought professional help in the past and it was a good help in pointing me in the right direction.
If you want to dive deeper into this book I highly recommend you grab a copy of it, ill leave the link in the description, along with some other extremely helpful resources that may help give you some more clarity on what you're going through.
At the bottom of this post, I'll leave a list of resources that I've found extremely helpful that helped me expand my awareness around my overthinking and chronic worrying that can help you lessen the grip it may have on your life.
To finish off,
Here's a cool quote I like from one of my favorite spiritual teachers that directly apply here:
What you resist persists.
Talk soon,
Chad Myers
Resources:
Learn about OCD: https://www.treatmyocd.com/ocd-subtypes​
Book "The Worry Trick" https://www.amazon.com/The-Worry-Trick-audiobook/dp/B01HDXCV12/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=the+worry+trick&qid=1681408861&sr=8-1​
Learn about ERP https://iocdf.org/about-ocd/ocd-treatment/erp/​
Real Event OCD: https://www.verywellhealth.com/real-event-ocd-5220559#:~:text=Real%20event%20OCD%20is%20a,anxiety%20triggered%20by%20the%20obsessions.​
The OCD stories: https://theocdstories.com/​
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